Sunday, 23 October 2011

A decision that changes my life~

Assalamualaikum kepada semua yang sudi tengok blog ala-ala kebudak-budakan ni. Ahaks. Yang penting, berani mencuba. Dlm last entri, saya ada janji nak cerita pasal a big decision that will change my life. Actually ade banyak, tapi this one is gonna change my entire life. Seriously!

Sure ramai yang akan fikir that I will talk about getting married kan? Nope this time, it's something to do with money.. Haha, not really actually. Ok, straight to the point la, make things easier. It's my profession that's I have to decide and finally I ended up in a pathway to become a DOCTOR. I have to admit that initially that's not really my first top-ranking choice, seriously I love physics and chemistry (huhu, mcm nerd jea kan). Mula-mula, ingat nak proceed studies in chemical engineering, tapi setelah mendengar nasihat org2 yang dah pernah makan garam sebelum ni, finally here I am. (Lagi 3 minggu nak final exam, i really mean final as in no more exams after this, yahooo!!!)


Sepanjang hidup memang akan stuck dgn routine doctor yang akan busy ari2. I've seen those experience myself because my elder sister is a doctor, she owns a clinic. Awal2 sebelum klinik tu betul2 establish, hari-hari kerja sampai pukul 10 malam. Sabtu pon keje jugak. Her husband is a specialist in a private hospital, he is even busier (so don't think once you have become a specialist, you boleh lepak2 kat rumah ye). Oncall xtau la bape kali seminggu. Sometimes, baru smpai rumah tgh2 malam, ade pager masuk, and kena la balik ke hospital semula. Kdg2 pukul 5 pagi dah keluar rumah (I've heard this from my sister).. But now, he has one assistant, so kurang la sikit kerja. (But frankly speaking, memang banyak gila la kan gaji bila kerja private, gaji kita setahun pon agaknya xdapat nak beat gaji dia sebulan)

Back to reality, I still have one more year as a student intern, senang cakap pre-housemanship year. Dah xde exam ape2, totally practical and will do the same as what interns or HO or whateva you call it do. But, under supervision. Bila orang tanya, kenapa Adelaide Uni smpai 6 tahun, this is the answer. We have one extra year untuk practice jadi intern, so that when the time comes, competent la cket. Xdela terkapai-kapai sgt. BUT this only applies if i'm gonna work here. Sebab setiap hospital ada guidelines masing-masing, and in OZ they are so evidence-based. I don't know the situation back in Malaysia. So, I'm freaking out jugak la especially selepas baca luahan perasaan rakan-rakan yang dah start menjadi HO. I guess, this is the path that I choose, so just be patient, betulkan niat kerana Allah and everything is gonna be fine :)

This is my beloved university :)


Ok, next thing I wanna share is related to the above statement. About housemanship officer. I read a reflection about housemanship from this one blog. 


Basically apa yang dia cerita typical dengan cerita-cerita HO sebelum ni. Memang xbanyak berubah. Banyak kerja, kena marah, inhumane etc.. I could not say much sebab I'm not in their shoes. But, what I know it's gonna be really hard and harsh! But, what makes me freak out, bila baca comment2 dalam entri tu. Ada yang baru sebulan start kerja, da gantung diri sebab stress sgt. Ada kisah lagi 2 HO masuk psych ward (wad sakit jiwa). This one story really makes me cry. Ada seorang suami kepada seorg HO ni. His wife hari2 balik kerja menangis, mengadu kat dia mcm2.. Senior doctor xbagi balik rumah etc.. One day, this husband dah tak tahan tgk isteri dia kena buli, so he went to the hospital and punched the senior doctor on his face. Dah jadi kes polis plak, suami tu pon kena penjara 3 bulan. So dah hilang support la isteri dia ni, she lost her insanity due to overstressed and finally died.. Sob3.. Sampai mcm tu sekali ke? Skang dah 7 tahun isteri dia meninggal. Innalillah..

Itu cerita org, saya xtau ape cerita sy nanti. Hanya doa dan tawakkal kepada Allah. I know it's gonna be hard especially for me, graduate from oversea. Seriously speaking, OZ has one of the best environments to work for doctors. Everyone works as a team, most of the consultants, RMO, registrars are so supportive towards the interns, yes that's true. Xde nak marah-marah xtentu pasal, kalau salah memang la akan ditegur but bukan dgn cara yang memalukan. I am always wondering mcm mana orang yang tiada kepercayaan pada Allah ni, moral diorg sgt tinggi. They know how human should be treated. 



I still remember, when i was doing medical rotation last year, ade sorg intern buat salah yang besar and dia sgt down time tu. Memang takut akan dipersalahkan oleh consultant, sikit lagi patient tu nak mati. But this one consultant, langsung xmarah, but really supports her and even cuba nak defend intern tu. Owh, that's so sweet okay.. and in another rotation, ade sorg consultant ni sgt baik yang amat, sentiasa senyum and lansgung xpernah marah. One day dia kata nak belanja makan, dia berkeras nak belanja sebab he said dia masih ingat lagi time jadi medical student, he knew this one consultant that was so kind to him. suka belanja student jugak, and so nice to everyone. So dia kata, start dari aritu, dia bertekad nak jadi those very kind consultants that student will remember :)

So kesimpulannya, hidup ni memang ada turun, ada naik. Ade waktu happy, ade waktu sedih, ade waktu down and up. As long as you connect your heart and mind to Allah, He will guide you. Ketenangan, perasaan kita semua ni Allah tahu. Dia Maha Mengetahui. So, xpe kalau manusia benci, buli, suka marah-marah kita, layan kita macam sampah ke, yang penting we know Allah is always with us :)

Huh, I think that's enough for now. Next, buat jadual utk study. Have to give my 200% commitment to this very final exam. Hope everyone has a happy day! Next time dah boleh cerita pasal my big day plak. Excited!! 
Tata titi tutu. Wassalam.

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